Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
