your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
