Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
