i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
