apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
