So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
