So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
