Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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