And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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