ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
