i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
