There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
