oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
