Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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