that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
