I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
