But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
