I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
