party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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