Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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