I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize