I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
