And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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