It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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