oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
