sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
