I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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