As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
