What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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