i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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