My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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