so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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