Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
