Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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