The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
handjob tips. give me some.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
