hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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