the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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