Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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