I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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