But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
