yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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