i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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