everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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