Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize