i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
