Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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