I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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