HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
