i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
