My nipple is on Facebook.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Farmville is her only friend.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
