So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
