this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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