we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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