wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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