You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
