So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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