is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You pole danced in your parka.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
