remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
