went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
