the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
