Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
