started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
