i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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