Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
