I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
