I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she woke up with a sticky ear
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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