I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize