hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
