That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
