Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You are a genius and a whore.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
