Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
